Feelings come and go

It’s been almost 4 months since my last blog post. How time flies, and more importantly how my thoughts have changed. How I felt about things back then has since changed. I no longer feel so sad or strongly about some things. I feel like this is a good thing and I’ve grown emotionally.

I still remember vividly in one of my earlier blog post, about how much I regret or how much I wished John wasn’t one of the first few men I meet while just returning into the dating world. I felt so strongly about it then and that brought me a lot of momentarily sadness. I don’t really know when it happened, but slowly I no longer think that way, and I can probably even say that I don’t have regrets. I don’t have bitterness about this person at all, and it still remains true that if I see him on the streets, I will have fond memories of the learning (vulnerability) that this person has provided me with. Looking back, I can now laugh at my own silly attachments.

I’m still keeping up with my meditation practice and this is something I am happy about. It continues to provide a sense of peace and calmness in my life, and more importantly, it gave me a lot of clarity into things. I am grateful for that.

I feel that there are constantly things that I am learning about love, even though I’m not in a relationship. Just by observing how other couples treat one another, hearing their stories – these are all opportunities to learn about what kind of relationship you desire, and how you want to conduct oneself when you get into one. Is that strange?

I still believe that every encounter with a person is also an opportunity for learning and growth.

I’m not sure if I am ready to talk about another new lesson because this is still very much lessons in progress. And I feel the lessons here is about knowing what you want, drawing boundaries, not fall into the trap of falling in love with the “potential”. That’s a lot, you know! Each lesson seems to be getting harder and harder.

I’m still very much a work in progress…